Is online dating that bad? 5 reasons to give dating apps a try

“Dating apps ruined the dating world!”

“Don’t trust Bumble!”

“Tinder is for fuckboys!”

“This generation is doomed!”

Okay. It seems like every time a new technology comes along, people feel the need to complain about it. Although dating apps tend to increase FOMO and make people more reluctant to commit, they also give you much more opportunities to meet your future special someone.

Let’s look at 5 reasons to give dating apps a try.

5 reasons to give dating apps a try

1.     They are a direct representation of society

The first argument we hear is that there are no decent people on dating apps. If that is your opinion, you might be swiping wrong… or using the wrong apps: it is true that Tinder is notorious for being the fuckboy playground, but that doesn’t apply for Bumble, Hinge or Happn.

Plus, who you find on your app depends mostly on your location. Not on the app itself.

You see, when you walk around the street in your hometown, go shopping or eat at a restaurant, the people you’ll see are the same people you’ll find on dating apps.

The ugly people you find on Hinge with a monobrow, and yellow teeth are the same ugly people you’ll meet in train stations and cafés. The Tinder fuckboys are the same fuckboys as the ones you’ll meet in your local club.

If you’ve got your heart broken by somebody you met on a dating app, it only means that they weren’t the one for you. It says nothing about the apps themselves.

In other words, dating apps were never the problem: people are the problem.

Remember that in order to have a happy relationship, you don’t need your entire dating pool to be perfect. You only need to find that one person who will treat you right.

2.     A liar on Tinder is a liar in real life

I often hear “what if they lie about their hobbies and intentions on their profile?” Well, I hate to break it to you but it’s just as easy to lie on your dating profile as it is to lie right to somebody’s face.

Liars are found in the real world as well. They’re not magically created by Tinder to be released in the wild for Netflix and Chill dates and never call you again.

The only way to find out whether somebody’s being honest about their intentions is to look at their actions.

If they lie on their pictures, you’ll find out soon enough. Which is why I always recommend planning the date two to three days after matching. You don’t want to waste your time texting someone for three weeks only to find out they actually look like a weird potato.

And honestly, the best way to avoid being manipulated by a man who only wants to sleep with you is to wait a few dates before sleeping with him. Waiting, even if it takes weeks until you trust his intentions, is an effective way to weed out fuckboys.

3.      If you want something, you’ve got to look for it

Right after graduating, did you catch yourself saying: “I’m not going to apply for jobs… I want to find a career in an organic way. It’ll just happen when I least expect it!”.

Of course you didn’t. Because it’s stupid.

Obviously, it can happen. You could meet the love of your life while waiting for the bus or at the supermarket… Just like you could get attacked by an angry cow tomorrow and die tragically. The chances are pretty low, though.

I’m a strong believer that intentions are the key to a happy and fulfilled life. If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll only get what life throws at you. In other words, don’t put your love life in the hands of luck.

So, figure out what kind of relationship you want, what kind of man you’d like to meet and start searching. It might take a while to find someone you find worthy of your long-term attention, but you’ll get there eventually.

Going after what you want gives you much better chances of getting it. It’s simple mathematics.

4.     There is no “wrong” way to find love 

Meeting your significant other online might have been weird in the 2005, but that ship has sailed a while ago.

It’s time to stop the hyper fixation on the “we met” story. The way you meet your person says absolutely nothing about the quality of your relationship. If anything, using the apps will allow you to meet people who are also mostly looking for love.

This is explained in much more details in Logan Ury’s book How not to die alone, which I highly recommend.

You’ll actually find that once you’re in a long-term relationship, the way you guys met will have so much less importance compared to the wonderful memories you’ll create together.

Plus, focusing too much on the “we met” story puts you in higher risks of staying in a toxic, abusive, or simple unhappy relationship. Instead of seeing the red flags and leave, you’ll decide to stay because “our story is so romantic!”.

This isn’t Hollywood, sweetheart. Dating apps have become the most common place to find romance and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

5.     They give shy people a shot at flirting

Call me crazy but it’s a lot less intimidating to text someone than it is to approach them in real life.

Dating apps give you a chance to think about what you’re going to say and use strategic flirting to get a date, rather than coming to someone at the bar all sweaty, awkward, and stumbling on every word you say.

Even if you’re not particularly shy, you don’t want to miss out on all the shy but amazing people out there who might be incredible potential partners for you. 

In fact, shy people and introverts tend to become better long-term partners than outgoing people.

Bottom line

Dating apps are a great way to meet people. Some dates will be disastrous, others will be amazing, some people will break your heart and others will turn out to be amazing partners.

The quality of your dates and relationships is rarely correlated to how you meet the person.

At the end of the day, it all comes down to knowing what you want and going after it.

Remember: you deserve to find love.